Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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