Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
