plz talk dirty to me
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
