the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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