I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
are you so shy because you have an std?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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