I have demons in me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
