i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
