you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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