Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
