Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need to calm my uterus...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
