This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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