nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
