If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
