Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
