I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
