Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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