didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
