White coat. Heels.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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