he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
