Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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