Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
