Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
