the condom got lost in my hair
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
