I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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