i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
