She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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