I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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