What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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