Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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