thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
