ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
