So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
