i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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