You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
