# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
