Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
