glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
