Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
