I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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