I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
