i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
