1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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