As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
