i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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