Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
