I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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