He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
