Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
