great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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