He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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