The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
