As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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