idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And then my night got REAL pukey
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
