she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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